Results.

as most of us here would know, today is the release of results for the ntu brothers and sisters. ytd night my social media timelines were flooded with my friend’s rantings about how they have this ominous feeling, how their hearts are racing, how they wish their cgpa can maintain etc. and those negative thoughts started to consume me slowly.

the past sem was probably my worst sem ever. worst in the sense that i felt stressed out all the time. all my mods were coursework based, 2 of which are performance based i.e. have to spend a lot of time practising and rehearsing. one other core mod is a mod that i really dislike because it’s so technical and i failed all my quizzes, and i did super badly for all the assignments as well. on top of that i had to prepare for HOCC (trainings end at 2ish 3am usually) and also for my dance concert as well, which made all coursework based mods sound like a terrible idea. crazy doesn’t even begin to describe the sem. oh and not forgetting my shingles outbreak that was caused by stress, and i was given 2 weeks mc.

i was so consumed by everything, everything other than God.

so last night shortly before results released, as i’ve shared with my lg, i was just asking God that when the world is worrying away, what does it truly mean to trust in the Lord. and i want Him to teach me that. what does it mean to “be still and know that i am God”. i can vividly rmb how God so graciously put me in linguistics (with CCD for A lvl h2 subjects) and brought me thru every sem (i never had to retake any mods even though i fail tests like breathing air). and even though my carnal nature is thinking “what if”, God is asking me “have i ever let you down?” at the moment i told God that no matter what happens, above it all i want to rmb who He is, that He is sovereign still.

God blessed me with a cgpa increase of 0.1, which is pretty much beyond my wildest imagination. but brothers and sisters, my point here isn’t “yay my cgpa improved, praise God!” (but yes praise God still hahaha), my point is that in an environment where everyone is so academic-driven and people start freaking out when their cgpa slip, rmbring who we are in God is so, so, so important. we must know that grades do not, and will not ever define us, even when the world tells us that without good grades we are doomed. no we are not, because our faith is in our God, our God who is able, who can do the impossible, who loves us unconditionally, and He will not let our feet slip.

trust me, for a third class honours student to say the above, it really has to come from God.

hahaha so sorry for the lengthy post, but i really feel the spirit stirring so strongly within me i just can’t contain it! have a blessed day ahead everyone, and happy weekends! 😀

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Day 1.

Today I want to give thanks for:

– meeting shiying at the bartley bus stop, realised we both work in Mediacorp, so she brought me to Mediacorp i.e. i wasn’t lost on my first day!
– realised xiangs works in the same dept as meeeee. and out of so many depts in CNA, this has to be from God 😀
– lovely friends who texted me and prayed for me for my first day gdll! :’)
– a nice mentor, charles, who brought me for an interview on my first day at work and didn’t ask me do saigang like make him coffee lololol
– nice fellow interns 😀

really felt God’s presence with me throughout, really felt so safe and at peace ^^ love You!

2012.

2012: a shittily good year, as my dear sister Diane puts it.

2012 was no less dramatic than 2011, if not more, and it has been so full of shit I don’t even know where to begin. But it has been good, I lost some and gain some. I found a man who makes me want to spend the rest of my life with him, someone who tries to put me before himself, someone who makes me smile and holds my hand on rainy days. And the start of 2013 also means that he’s coming home soon! And so is another favourite person of mine 😀

I’m excited for the new year because it’s already looking great! And yes deep down I do believe it’s gonna be the best year yet. It just keeps getting better even with the increase in shit, you know.

So yes, Happy New Year to you all, may this coming year be one that is full of joy and laughter, and may you never be too busy for your loved ones :>

Not great, but it is enough.

Because God really deserves this post.

Thank You, for bringing me through once again even though I am anything but deserving. I am guilty of being faithless, but You my Lord delivered me just like You have promised.

I have nothing to say but Thank You.

It is not great, but it is enough for me. I am not great, but You tell me that I am enough for You.

Humbled.

I’m not dead.

Oh hey. I’m still alive.

This is actually a belated post but anyway.

Few nights back I decided to not use the com and just lie in the dark with my mum and chatted with her. And it’s amazing how her life now revolves so much around the church, and it’s such a privilege to be with her on this walk. Never thought this day would come to pass and I’m so thankful that You made the seemingly impossible possible.

On another note. Have started choreographing the junior’s item for JDC and boy, this is some tough shit. So thankful that the boy shares my love for dance and can help me along. Honestly one of the best feelings in this world is to share the same passion as the one you love.

13 Jan isn’t coming soon enough. Miss you.